Saturday, August 15, 2009

It's Been a While...

Even as I sit with the computer in my lap ready to type, I just don't know what to say. The past week has been a sheer roller-coaster. In order to explain the highs and lows in a way that has that "take your stomach" feeling, I must back up and say that... the past month has been that very same roller coaster...

Rewind to July 10th. Ok, a couple of days before that... Garrett had not been feeling well and thought it was his allergies. He went to work on the 10th, not feeling well and figuring they'd send him home anyway, but it was Cow Appreciation Day- one of the biggest of the year, so he needed to be there. I got a call from him 15 minutes after his shift started and remarked that they sent him home earlier than I thought they would. The sound in his voice let me know something was wrong. He'd been let go. I should've been sad or something, but I was speechless. I guess in the grand scheme of things the reason doesn't really matter, because no one cares about the meager worker's side anyways, and Garrett has been really good about the whole thing, but it absolutely infuriates me. Yes, I prayed that God would open other doors for Garrett and for our family, but it felt like such a slap in the face to have my prayers answered in that way. I'm not going to lie- I'm still working through those feelings of hurt. We went to church that Sunday, only two days later, and through the course of a conversation that led itself to work, Garrett shared with James Skipworth, who's been spoken of on our blog before, that he was no longer employed. If anyone can understand, it's James. He's been out of work for a number of months, and by his own admission, is waiting on God to tell him what to do. I love that quote! And I love the fact that it's spoken during a time that James could really use something full time but is choosing instead to wait on God. Over the past few weeks, Garrett has worked a couple of times helping James paint houses- and they've split the money. We are so humbled by James' and Cindy's unwavering faith in us and willingness to share with us out of their own need. God has been so good.

The week after he was let go, Garrett went to a job fair with Mobis, which is a sister company of Kia. Long story short, he went to the fair on July 18th and they called him on August 13th to offer him a job. He starts this Monday, and we are forever grateful. Don and Dawn May are another precious couple at our church, and Don works for Mobis. He's been talking to Garrett for a long time about Mobis, and has been a source of information and encouragement all throughout this process. Garrett will work 8 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday, which is a schedule he's never had. Our family will finally be able to enjoy each other on weekends and at night. We absolutely could not be more in awe of the way God provided a path to this for us. It's been my prayer for so long, and even though I don't understand why the path took us the way it did, I know God has a plan and will complete what He started in Garrett.

In the midst of all this, we had Saralynn's 3rd birthday party, but that's another post. Pictures to come, so stay tuned.

I went to the doctor on August 4th for my glucose test, and found out the next day that I failed it, so I have to go back for a 3-hour test on Monday, and I'm absolutely scared to death. I don't want to be diabetic. I don't want the label, the dietary restrictions, I don't want anything to affect my baby. I don't want any of it. And, believe me, God's heard all about that, too. Bless His heart, I'm glad He can take anything off of us, because He sure has heard alot from me lately...

Which leads us back to this week. Monday started out with an email from a friend. A friend that used to be alot closer to me, but for whatever reason just isn't any more. Not because I don't want her to be- much the contrary, I long for that friendship more than I long for alot of friendships, but it just isn't in the cards right now, I guess. Leaving out some of the details so as not to make a bad situation worse, let's just say that I tried so hard to do the right thing a couple of months ago to right a case of overlook in our Sunday School class and it came back to bite me harder than anything has bitten me in a long time. Donations were made to offer some Christian love and fellowship to some class members, and thanks to the US Postal Service, I've replaced the donations that were turned into gift cards twice now, costing our family quite a bit of money that, quite frankly, at the time, we just didn't have any extra of to be doling out. And, to make matters worse, let's face it- people talk. So, it's now the opinion of some that I pocketed the money that was intended for others, and that hurts my heart deep down to my soul. I've been accused of some pretty yucky things in my life, by some people really close to me, but that one just takes the cake. My family has done it's best to make it through a tough times financially, but to be accused of something as horrible as taking money that was intended for other people, and intended to help be the hands and feet of Jesus is just more than I can handle. I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life.

Ok, so now that I'm crying so uncontrollably I can hardly type, let's talk about something positive. Saralynn has gotten the hang of potty training, for the most part. She's great with tee-teeing, and we're working on the other, but we had success with it for most of the day today. I am so proud of my girl! She never ceases to amaze me.

The past week has also been a bittersweet one because it's the year anniversary of saying goodbye to a dear cousin of mine. My dad's cousin Robert Whatley gave up his battle against Multiple Myeloma on August 10th of last year to earn his reward in Heaven. MM is a cancer of the bone marrow that literally sucked all Robert had in him out on more than one occasion. He fought so valiantly for years past when his doctors told him he'd live. I think he was given a matter of months to maybe 18 months, and lived for 5 years. So, last Monday marked the one-year anniversary of our saying goodbye to one of the greatest Christian men I've ever known. Right after I had Saralynn, we went to church to hear Robert speak in Sunday School. I'd have to go back to her baby book to see exactly when it was, but it was somewhere very near the 10th of August that he spoke, and that will always be a memory I cherish. Robert really didn't feel like being there that morning, and it was really too early to have Saralynn out and about, but I wasn't missing it. Robert was so very sick at our wedding, and probably really shouldn't have come, but he did. He showed up, Uncle-Fester headed and all, but with no tie. He apologized, saying he just didn't have it in him to wear one. I wouldn't have cared what he showed up in, I was just humbled he made it. That moment made my wedding day all the sweeter, so there was no way I was not going to be in the back of the gym to hear him tell his story to his Sunday School class that day.

Why do I say all that, in such detail? To ask you to pray for Mrs. Sue Woodfin. She is the mother of a friend of mine, Michelle Blair, and Mrs. Sue needs our prayers. As of this past Thursday, Mrs. Sue faces a battle with Multiple Myeloma herself, and it's been an honor to pray for her and for her family the past few days, so I'm asking the limited number of people that read my blog to pray for her, too. Michelle is an only child, so she is, I'm sure, shouldering alot right now. She has two beautiful children and a husband and his family that are precious to me, too, and they all need our prayers. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to talk directly to Michelle yet, but I hope God provides a way soon. Pray for Mrs. Sue's medical staff as they design a play that will hopefully help her beat the odds, much like Robert did. So many advances have been made, but it's still hard to know all that lies before Mrs. Sue. But, I know my God is big, and is still in the miracle-making business, and I believe He wants us to ask for miracles, believing that He can make them happen, if He chooses to. I'm asking Him to choose Mrs. Sue. Will you join me?

As for the other issue mentioned above, I'm learning to cope. I know that people are people- heck, I'm human, too, and have made mistakes myself, but I didn't ever mean for something as simple as providing gift cards to turn into something so extremely hurtful. Please pray for soft ground in my heart as I plead with God to explain to me why I'm going through such a horrible time at the hands of people whom I care about so much. I just don't understand. There's so much else bigger and more pressing going on these days than this- why can't people just look past the details and see my heart- that it beats to help others? And even though it may not have turned out quite right, all I wanted was to show the love of Jesus to some of His children. I know it'll work out, but it still hurts- so much so that sometimes I feel like my tears could be blood drops. I petition your prayers tonight.

The next post promises to be much more light-hearted, but I just couldn't keep it all bottled in any more.

Praying through tears tonight,
Mary Beth